i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
