garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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