She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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