4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize