I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Mom said you looked used
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
