Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I got inside last night via doggy door
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
