There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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