Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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