My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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