Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
