Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
