everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
