Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
