tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
