i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
