I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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