Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
