Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize