he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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