Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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