Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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