One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
whose parrot is this?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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