the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
