oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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