Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
