I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
