He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize