she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
