Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
