please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
