She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
