Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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