it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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