Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
