I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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