Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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