why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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