Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
