Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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