I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
