It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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