please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
