if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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