my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you win again, gameday.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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