at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
