You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
