I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
