Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
