Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
