I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
