how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Alive.
So much puke
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
