just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Still dying that you shit outside
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
