id be glad to
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
