I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
