Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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