I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
