i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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