Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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