ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This house was built for laser tag.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
