I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
