We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
