do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
