Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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