Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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