I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
